dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
