I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
