So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
