I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
