I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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