so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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