I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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