Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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