hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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