Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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