man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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