her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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