i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
