she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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