oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
