her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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