I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
