He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
