well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
