Do you still have your period?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
