i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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