I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
