remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
