its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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