I can text with my tongue
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
