Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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