Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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