hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
