try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
