great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
