i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Green mimosas i think yes
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
