at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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