it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
