Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
