I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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