wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
