you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
