bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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