Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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