I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
