I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
