I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
