Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
