he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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