Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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