i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
