she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
