i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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