I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
