If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
