If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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